What Really Is EMDR?
If you struggle with trauma, you’ve probably heard of EMDR. But what exactly is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a big name, right? The term itself is well known, but unless you’ve experienced it firsthand, most people don’t really know what an EMDR session is actually like.
In this post, I’ll walk you through what EMDR does and what you can expect during a session.
The Science Behind It (in plain language)
I’m going to explain this as simply as I can.
EMDR connects your present-day struggles to past experiences—often the root of the issue—and reduces current distress by working through those earlier memories. That’s the core idea. Did that make sense?
Here’s an example:
Let’s say you tend to avoid conflict to the point where you can’t assert yourself at all, and you want to change that. EMDR helps “search” your memory network and identify experiences that may be linked to this pattern. You might uncover memories like:
- Your parents argued frequently, and it felt scary growing up
- A specific moment around age five when you hid under a table because the arguments became so intense
- Feeling powerless as a teenager when getting into trouble with your mom, who always seemed “right”
- Speaking up in class once, only to feel rejected when your friends became distant afterward
The reason you struggle in the present is often because these past experiences shaped negative beliefs about yourself.
By revisiting these memories with the more developed, adult brain you have now, you can begin to “reprocess” them. You may notice new details, perspectives, or meanings that weren’t accessible at the time. As you begin to see that the negative beliefs you formed don’t fully fit, your responses—like how you handle conflict—can start to shift.
Why Does EMDR Use Bilateral Stimulation (BLS)?
Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is a core part of EMDR and can be done in several ways:
- Following a light or the therapist’s fingers moving left to right with your eyes
- Holding small devices (tappers) that vibrate alternately in each hand
- Listening to alternating sounds through headphones
- Crossing your arms and tapping your shoulders from side to side
The key element is the left-right, back-and-forth movement.
So why does this matter?
One reason is that it helps you stay grounded in the present. While you’re recalling a distressing memory, BLS keeps part of your attention anchored in the here and now. This is called dual attention, and it helps regulate the intensity of what you’re experiencing.
Another explanation is that BLS engages both hemispheres of the brain—logical (left) and emotional (right). For reprocessing to happen in a non-traumatizing way, both sides need to be involved. BLS may support this integration.
Some people also find the rhythmic stimulation—like the gentle buzzing in their hands—surprisingly calming, which can reduce feelings of overwhelm.
What Happens in an EMDR Session?
Once you’ve identified target memories, here’s what typically comes next.
First, your therapist will guide you in imagining a safe or calm place. You’ll practice shifting from a stressed state to a relaxed state a few times before beginning the actual processing.
When you’re ready, your therapist will ask you a series of specific (and, honestly, slightly unusual) questions designed to activate the memory.
With the memory activated, you’ll begin BLS and start the reprocessing phase. Your therapist may guide your focus briefly, then begin the stimulation. After a set of passes, they’ll ask what you’re noticing.
You don’t have to share every detail—just what feels helpful.
Your therapist will then say something like “go with that” or “notice that,” and the BLS resumes.
This process repeats multiple times, with your therapist observing how your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations shift over time. The structure is fairly standardized, though therapists may make small adjustments based on your needs.
Once the past experience has been reprocessed, the therapist will move into a phase called the “Future Template.” In this step, you’ll practice applying your new, more adaptive belief about yourself in future situations, helping to strengthen and solidify the new neural pathway.
Is EMDR Helpful for Everyone?
EMDR is strongly associated with trauma, so many people assume it’s only for trauma treatment.
But in reality, EMDR can be helpful for a wide range of concerns—even if you don’t identify your experiences as “big trauma.”
If you find yourself reacting in ways you’d like to change, there’s a good chance EMDR could be beneficial.
While EMDR is well studied and well known as an effective trauma treatment, some people just don’t like the process, and that is totally ok.
If you’re curious about EMDR, the best next step is to talk with your therapist. They can help you determine whether it’s a good fit for your specific needs and goals.
